Slick Self-Development Salesman
It’s obvious to me why so many people cringe at the sight of contemporary self development culture. In the last decade, yoga, “mindfulness,” meditation, new-age spiritualism, “healing” practices, life coaching, even business coaching have made unprecedented strides into the public view and market. They are the new front lines of entrepreneurship—and also dishonesty.
There was never any shortage of charlatans in these fields. But there’s a reason why this feels particularly upsetting—when in contrast we don’t have the same sense of surprise when we see someone was sold a used car that breaks down a week later, or got tricked into giving their money to some pyramid scheme they got in an email.
There’s already something distasteful about a slick, fast-talking salesman in those cases. But there’s something exceptionally distasteful about a slick, fast tasking salesman who uses mediums like self-development as leverage. Self development was supposed to be sacred ground, where the trust between teacher and disciple is nurtured, where honest growth is carefully watered and held in high regard.
The Special Case of National Parks
An opportunist is an opportunist. They’re not going away. But we can all acknowledge that on the literal landscape there are certain areas like national parks which feel special and deserving of protection. There’s good reason for this. These things are also the heart of all that is good in civilization. In the first place the project of civilization itself balances on a fishing line stretched between oppressive human tyranny and the unmanageable, lonesome chaos of the wilderness. In the scope of human history, large-scale civilization is a new project.
The opportunistic nature of the human animal would gladly build malls, condos, roads, or level the land for for cash crops in national parks as soon as laws permitted. There would of course be some protest, and it would be the most ambitious developers to come in first. But it wouldn’t be long before building there became normal, and everyone forgot what the land once was.
Protecting land is obviously distinct in many ways from protecting the integrity of ideas and practices. I’m not saying this a perfect analogy, or we should apply the same strategies of preservation to the intellectual landscape. But it does tell us something about why so many feel a special sense of uneasiness and distrust about self development “coaches.”
I see this trust—which is slowly being eroded—as a crucial piece of the foundation supporting quality of life, mental health, and purpose for the individual-in-society. In the interest of those who care about self development culture at all, there ought to be more open talk, strategy, and education around safeguarding individuals against the greedy, opportunistic, shortsighted inclinations of many who would readily and happily trade honest practice for a chance to cash in today.
Honesty is a Costly Policy
By the way, where are the coaches and teachers willing to actually LOSE something for the sake of integrity. They seem to be steadily disappearing, or they’re getting ‘cancelled,’ or they’re muzzled and strong-armed on various speech and marketing platforms. Think about what kind of content and message ‘wins’ these days on social media.
And why do we seem to value being ‘nice’ so much? I thought what made us distrust the typical politician was precisely their tendency to be politically correct merely for the sake of public approval. The possibility of this incentive alone is grounds for skepticism. Did we somehow forget that people can be incentivized to say one thing publicly, and think another privately? Is it such a great mystery to us that a person would be deterred from honesty by the threat of recourse in the form of public disapproval, financial loss, etc.?
If I see someone regularly risk being wrong or thought to be wrong to demonstrate their commitment to honesty, I trust them MORE. This is a credit to their account. If I see someone regularly give up potential financial gain or even incur damages in the name of honest expression, I also mark a point in their favor.
What I see is overwhelming and growing advantage given to those positions and approaches which are convenient, broadly palatable, seemingly inclusive, marketable, and accessible. But I’ve some rough news, honey: not all truths taste nice, go down easy, harm nobody, market well, or can be understood by everyone. So very sorry.
Turning Them on Turns Me Off
I’ve never asked anyone who follows me on any platform to “turn on notifications.” Why? I see this decision as a natural extension of the purpose of my profession in the first place. In order to turn on notifications for a particular account on Instagram, for example, I have to turn on notifications for the app generally. This means I would receive notifications on my lock screen and on the app icon on my home screen . I find it problematic for an app to have control over what I pay attention to and when. I have all notifications on all apps turned off on my phone. If not, they cause constant interruptions in thought, micro-fractures in attention, whenever they pop up. And these micro-fractures, fundamentally initiated by other people’s interests and agendas, really add up.
I want to be be able to decide when I check my apps and interact with them. I want to choose when I’m present in this moment and this space I’m in now, and when I engage with others virtually. So from these basic premises, it was obvious to me that it would be unethical to suggest others should turn on notifications for my content.
This doesn’t make me a superhero of modern ethics. It makes me a decent person with basic, so very basic integrity and empathy. It means I have the ability to think just one step into the future consequences of my advice for someone else. Not even two steps. It means as a professional in the field of self development practice, I actually care about self development. Incredible.